By Raliat Mosunmola Abeje
‘A child is a child, all parents should acknowledge this and treat them as one in their responsibility of nurturing and correcting them towards becoming better adults’.
The topic Parental Responsibility in understanding children’s substance abuse, effects and solutions organised by The Press Society (TPS) in collaboration with CAVSI foundation to Sensitise parents and caregivers hovers around correcting in love.
A keynote speaker at the event who is a social worker, psychologist, community worker Dr Bountiful Taiwo Adelanwa told parents that the final output of their children is there own report card. That there is a nature and nurture conflict in Children.
In an interview with Newsconnect after her presentation at the event, she reiterated the high points from her presentation to establish more clarity.
In her words, she told parents;
“The nature is the genetic component of Children which is from the Parent while the nurture is the environment in which they have raised the children.
“They should know first and foremost they are responsible with the behaviors of the Children.
“Creating a sane community to raise our children is essential. For us to raise clean children, it means that the behavior in your environment, the behavior of your neighbour is important to you just as much as the behavior of your children are important to you.
“Also there is a way to correct for result, and is correcting in love. Sometimes we correct but we are not correcting in love. We are not communicating, we should be able to communicate to our children at the level they can understand.
“Omo o si ni o mo yen, ko le gboro! Ehn Kolegboro naa ni ! Translation (She is a stupid child, she will never heed to instruction)
“O de saanu mi Oko mi, ma je ki aye fi e bu mi ! Translation (My love, be compassionate with me by changing your bad behavior, I don’t like your behavior, have mercy on me and turn a new leaf so the world won’t mock me.
“That is correcting in love. Like I said it is until I get married that i know there is a wrong way to say the right thing. You are right but saying the wrong thing, that is what correcting in love is saying.
“Correcting in love is showing them love to get result. You are not correcting in love because you want to pamper and spoil, but you want to correct a particular behaviour, for every behavior, what you are looking at in correcting it is the cause of the behavior, the motivator.
“If you are to correct a behavior, you need to understand the behavior, you need to be able to analyse the behavior, explain the behavior, and then correct the behavior, that is what it means.
“Children have a right. That a child knows that it is only when I cry they attend to me, should not be so. A child should not cry before he or she gets help, they have a right. There is a right for a child. We are saying parent let a child be a child.
“The Executive functioning of the brain won’t start until they are at age 17, 18 and will fully mature at age 25. For late starters,maybe 26.
“Parents should also know substance abuse, substance disorder is a mental Illness. It can’t be cured by mere talking. For talking therapist, there are systems and principles that are used. The treatment of addiction is a multidisciplinary practice that involves nursing care, psychiatric care, pharmacologist and social worker, is not about praying alone, praying can help, but that is not the only thing that solves the issue of addiction and substance abuse.
“We have emerging adulthood, they don’t want to take responsibility and they want you to respect them like an adults.
“Also, parents should also know substance abuse, substance disorder is a mental Illness. It can’t be cured by mere talking. For talking therapist, there are systems and principles that are used.
“The treatment of addiction is a multidisciplinary practice that involves nursing care, psychiatric care, pharmacologist and social worker, is not about praying alone, praying can help, but that is not the only thing that solves the issue of addiction and substance abuse”. She said.
The President of TPS Elias Abayomi Adagunduro in an interview with journalists at the event said;
“Obviously, the participants can attest to the fact that the program is very educative, informative and interactive. The advocacy is definitely not going to be one-off, the more families and communities that are equipped with requisite information, the saner the society we would have.
“As an NGO promoting and protecting intervention of journalists in underserved communities, we will continue to identify with CAVSI and other non state actors, state actors in addressing communal challenges.
“The Government can’t do it alone, Philanthropist, private organisations and well meaning Nigerians should wake up, stand up and support the campaign against substance abuse.
“Information is power, what people don’t know is beyond them. Continuous advocacy by civil society organisations will change the mind set of parents towards knowing their responsibility as parents”. He said
The Executive Director of CAVSI foundation Mr Ariori Babatunde Hakeem whose intervention towards children has spanned over three decades shared insight about the choice of topic and what predicated the decision to sensitize parents on the topic. He charged parents to be their children’s friend.
He said they should ensure their children grow up to trust them. So that it doesn’t look like the parents are not always there for their children.
In his words, in an interview at the event, he said;
“If you are nurturing children, parents need to be sensitive. We need to go back to the family, so things can begin to change.
“Good name is better than Gold and Silver. When a child is given responsibility and monitored, he or she will be successful at it.
“This exemplary behavior will stand them out and they will never forget where they emulated the attribute from in the future.
“The family is the unit of the society. The more the families we reached out, the better the society”. He said .
